Scientist Discovers Gene Mutation Linked to Needing Less Sleep. fuckin awesome

I’m a caffeine addict, I’ll admit it. I never get enough sleep, and a big part of that has to do with my caffeine intake. It’s a vicious cycle, really. Kind of like an Elephant Walk, but ethically consensual and less faggy. So when I heard that a scientist at the University of Cali, SanFran, discovered a gene mutation in two women that basically enables them to get more rest out of less sleep, I was pissed. Luckyluckyluckyluckylucky. I mean, what more could you ask for? That’s more hours in your day. That’s more time to slack off. That’s more TV.. And you know what? I need more TV in my life. Ever since I started handling my shit (back in school, got a job, moved out of the alleyway) I haven’t had any time to sit around and do nothing. And honestly, I don’t feel like my day has been a success unless I’ve spent a portion of it doing nothing. My only TRUE purpose in life, is living a purposeless life, so if I don’t have a few hours of dead time every day I feel like I’m not really living up to my full potential. Dead time isn’t exclusive to television however. It also includes laying in bed, reading shitty, low-brow Sci-Fi novels, looking at pictures of lolcats on the internet, and practicing that one song I’ve been learning on guitar for the past seven years I’ve mastered on guitar. Dr.Ying Hui-fu, discoverer of before mentioned miracle gene mutation, says that she hopes to one day be able to develop a safe treatment for people who need to be awake for longer, requiring less sleep. SIGN ME UP because right now, the other alternatives aren’t looking very good.

I guess the coffee isn’t so bad, but that PARTICULAR mother fucker looks mean.

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One response to “Scientist Discovers Gene Mutation Linked to Needing Less Sleep. fuckin awesome

  1. I miss doing nothing. I love rocking out to trashy Rock of Love Marathons on VH1 and finishing a bottle of wine by 3:00 in the afternoon. Those were the days of unemployed, meaningless, amazing youth. Such profound thoughts.

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