FUCKIN INTERNS.

no. not interns fucking. Your mind, get it out of the gutter.

An intern is a lot of things: An employee, an assistant, a student, an apprentice.
I intern at a small Media+Marketing company in Brooklyn, and I get treated pretty well. I’m given a fair amount of work, and more importantly, responsibility. I’ve become aware of three principals that are commonly brought to attention which supposedly help to maintain the barter between intern and employer as something mutually beneficial. I find that though one is an absolute, the other two seem to be optional. They are:
1. We provide free labor
2. We are given the opportunity to gain real world experience.
3. And we are appreciated.

Today my fellow intern, assistant7 (I’m assistant3 I GOT RANK UP IN THIS MUTHA!), contacted Scholastic to ask where she could find their Imprints (catalogues) on the internet.

7: “Hey I’m calling to ask about your imprints.
7:I’m having trouble finding them on the internet.”
some young dumb thing a.k.a s.y.d.t.:“uhhm, what?”
7:“I’m trying to find your catalogues. I’m having trouble finding them online.”

s.y.d.t.: “Wait. What’s an IN-PRINT?”

At this point it’s the blind leading the blind. Don’t get me wrong, Assistant7 is great, it was her first day.

Anyway… some time over the course of, let’s say, the first implementation of an intern, to when our economy went to shit, companies began relying on their newly acquired unpaid workforce to replace the employees which they are laying off. Of course the lay-offs, in combination with the lack of paying jobs, are only leading to the gurth of the intern surplus. Now
the world is full of fuckin’ interns, and as an intern I don’t really want to deal with them. Don’t get me wrong, when interns are used wisely, when we are trained properly and given tasks we are well able to handle, we flourish. (and to all the interns at GW reading this, GOO TEAM!) Here’s the thing: We want to deal with business professionals, seasoned pros. Not s.y.d.t. on the other end of the phone.

I’ll be damned if you call that real world experience.

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2 responses to “FUCKIN INTERNS.

  1. meh, its not only interns who don’t know shit….there are tons of people out there that have high positions who are just as terrible to deal with. So you still do get a real world experience 😛

  2. I’ve yet to deal with other interns or s.y.d.t.’s on the phone, but I have been dealing with an erotica novelist who’s been sexually oppressed and an Italian woman who’s trying to single handedly start a revolution … real world experience? mayybee…

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