El Niño: The Second Coming

And no, I’m not talking about Pepe from down the block who jacked your Schwinn from the school bike rack when you were 12.
I’m talking the real shit. The weather shit. For those of you who are inclined to be frightened by bad news, cover your eyes!!!

take a look at this thermal image

el ni(spanish n)o

I’m not really sure what to make of it at this point, but I’m guessing that dog dick-like gash streaking across the earth means BAD. But what do I know? eeehhhverything

According to the Independent.co.uk  “over the next few months, there may be increased drought in Africa, India and Australia, heavier rainfall in South America and increased extremes in Britain, of warm and cold. It may make 2010 one of the hottest years on record.” SPEED LEVITCH ON CRACK ALMIFHRTAllllmightyy, it’s the apocalypse baby!!

Well. Before you get your panties in a bundle The Independent continues  “at present, forecasters do not expect this El Niño to equal that of 1998.” fuckin hookline journalism. Thank god for it. If it wasn’t for shock journalism, well, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to experience such great relief, after having been so wound up.

The only thing I remember that was particularly hot about 1998 was POKEMANIA. I was hot as shit for that stuff. I kid you not.(or was it ‘I’m hot for kids, I shit you not’?) I tried my damndest to dream up ways to make pokemon a reality. I considered catching squirrels and ferrel cats, and the frightening thing is that I’ve heard this same thing from more than one person. Perhaps that isn’t frightening at all considering we might have actually had a little league. I can imagine it now. A group of 8-12 year old boys with scraggly cats and raccoons on leashes fighting for scraps of lunch meat.

I wouldn’t worry to too much about the second coming of el niño (get your mind out of the gutter) but I think I’ll wipe out the old gameboy for a spin around Pallet town.


One response to “El Niño: The Second Coming

  1. Also, if you check out cnn.com or was it aol.com? You’ll find an article about how the sun currently has NO sunspots. LIKE WTF DO YOU MEAN NO SUNSPOTS? This could also have something to do with baby nina. I like this post!

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